


Black Holes, Revelations

by bowblade



Series: Thirteen Effect [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIII Series, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 14:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10810911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowblade/pseuds/bowblade
Summary: Lightning's too proud to apologise for chasing away her sister half way across the galaxy, and today's the day it bothers her most.(Serah's made a few more choices of her own, though.)





	Black Holes, Revelations

She always had this week off, but this was the first one without her.

Frankly, Lightning had forgotten - her mind safely swathed sometime in February when the preparations for the upcoming cruise had first begun. _The Bodhum_ was a beautiful ship, state of the art, a partnership of human and turian engineering – unusual, but one she no less wished to be aboard. As Amodar had been made Captain, it was only natural she would follow to be his commanding officer, and he was happy to have her.

Until yesterday, when he told her she would not be seeing him for seven days, but to be back in time for its maiden voyage, and having her casually escorted to the transporter and encouraged to go home.

 _Then_ she remembered.

Home. Given to her when she had been offered a place in the N7 program, the shared apartment was small, minimalistic, and tasteful. It was nowhere fancy but to a young woman who had run with gangs on the street and tasted homelessness, it was heaven. Lightning hadn't touched the interior since her moving day; that her been her sister's doing, because Serah had a lot of time to spend there alone once her training moved off-world. It kept her occupied, she'd said, to make a home that was theirs and only theirs… that, and she liked to see Lightning's reaction to her refurbishing. That first Christmas, Lightning had returned to find the walls of the open plan living space painted a bubbly baby pink accompanied by a three course dinner with all the trimmings.

It was burnt yet moist and smelled unappetising, but she had wolfed down every bite. Fortunately for those without an iron stomach, Serah's dinners had been mastered since. 

The walls, however, were still flecked with baby pink. Lightning would wake up on the couch sometimes with faded paint flakes in her hair.

And yet…

Serah had left the pink walls, the murals, her kitchen appliances, and a brand new microwave for Lightning's less than gourmet cooking skills. Serah herself had been the one to leave.

And it wasn't _home_ without her.

Lightning had not been here in months, and the thin layer of dust that always managed to build up was quickly repelled by removing the couch covers, washing the linen on her bed… honestly, she was impressed the lights still worked after a momentary stutter. Apartment functional but fridge empty, she had fallen asleep on the sofa and woken up to baby pink paint flakes lingering on her face.

She was also glad there was still water in the pipes for a much needed shower.

Work was a spaceship, distraction, protecting people. Home was with Serah. Home was _this week_ , always this week, where Serah would be waiting and they would do everything together, where they would eat and Serah would laugh, she'd smile, and Serah would talk about schoolwork and the latest vid on the extranet. 

Where, even if Lightning couldn't make it back to Earth, she'd find a way to be with her sister – to the Citadel one year, to a near constant barrage of video calls half way across the galaxy.

Not this year.

It dogged her, even as she ate and sat around with little else to do but read, to train, for the calendar she'd reluctantly turned to wink at her in the corner as the day edged ever closer. She kicked herself for not remembering, for not cancelling, for not being the bigger person and just finding Serah; it wasn't like she didn't know where she was. There was still time. She could go, arrange something, or meet her half way: she could place a call… there were an infinite number of things she could do.

She knew Serah had to move on, had things she wanted to do. She had supported her in that. But she had not supported Serah's decision to leave Earth and live on Eden Prime.

It was hypocritical, a double standard, and Lightning knew it. When she'd declined the invitation to Grissom Academy, Lightning had been secretly relieved. Serah was safe here, provided for, didn't need to live rough – she had everything she needed, had a roof over her head, everything she couldn't give her when they were kids. That was why she had done all this, to give her the support she needed. That was why she had persevered, became an N7, taken command postings, become Commander Lightning Farron… and why she had taken less and less time off tour to be with her, sent less calls, because it was all for Serah, and Serah had understood.

She understood that the week they always had would be gradually shortened to none at all, to a meal, to a call, to I've got to go, the galaxy needs me.

 _It's no wonder she went,_ the tiny voice in the back of Lightning's head whispered.

But it was drowned out by the stubborn anger, the fact she was not willing to apologise for her parting words. She was right; Serah had no idea what was out there, what she would face, but Lightning hadn't left it at that. She had allowed her mouth to run away with her, the mouth of a sergeant drilling a rebellious ensign, and she had forgotten that was _not_ what they were.

Now, it was far too late to apologise, and communication had settled into an awkwardly held silence. 

Serah had not broken it, either afraid or having grown used to it long before it had become deliberate.

Lightning had not broken it, because she pretended it was not a problem. But this week, this house, her birthday, her birthday, _her birthday…_

It was her birthday, she was alone, and it was crushing her. The sun had long since set outside, meal long since eaten, cupcake sat lonely on the kitchen island that she couldn't eat as the guilt tripped her up into the missing person who should be there to share it with, to dab chocolate on the tip of her nose like when they were kids. There would always be a cake baked at home, but there would always be the store bought cupcake, too.

That was when Serah beat her to it by calling her first.

It was an immediate reply, lit by the eerie glow of the returning vid and not much else. Lightning was wearing a shirt that might have been hers, might have been Serah's - she wasn't sure about the contents of her wardrobe here anymore – and looked a little worse for wear, caught up in reminiscence and guilt, but that all changed when her little sister's face appeared.

Serah.

There she was, close enough to reach out and embrace - but that wasn't possible anymore.

With a pang, she remembered Serah always began her vids with her widest, brightest smile, and ended them with a blown kiss goodbye. Tonight, her smile was small and reserved: the one she used for strangers. 

The gulf between them was larger still than the distance.

That told her enough about how this would end, how far apart they now were, and Lightning hated herself, hated this, _hated_ it all.

Serah sat up a little straighter, as if nervous. It was night time on Earth, but behind Serah, Lightning could see lush green trees beside the prefabs and bright blue skies, warm and enveloping, the light settling around the younger Farron's figure like a halo. Eden Prime had a longer day and night cycle, but that wasn't something you could tell a human body to adjust to. It could be a designated evening, despite the demonstration by the skies.

Or not, as Serah squinted into the feed, noticing how dark the apartment was.

"Sorry," she started. "Did I wake you up?"

"No," Lightning said shortly. She had not meant to be so clipped, but her bluntness had already done its damage, even if she couldn't see it on Serah's carefully guarded expression. She mentally floundered about to expand upon it, to say anything else. "Just… haven't turned the lights on yet. It makes me think of candles. I, uh. Bought a cupcake. For today."

She hadn't meant to go for sentimentality, but Serah's expression flickered somewhat softer.

"I remember," her smile changed, more to how it used to be. And then sad, because it wasn't. "How I'd always turn off the lights before you blew them out. Right?"

"Right," Lightning agreed.

The silence stretched. Serah didn't say anything, thinking - perhaps about her cakes of earlier years.

Lightning tapped her fingers on the counter, casting about for social niceties. She wasn't the best at them, since military didn't require it and her friends were few. Though she knew the questions, had asked Serah before, now she almost didn't have the right to know… and she knew the answers by heart, anyway, the final few years becoming a regular repeat of 'it's fine' and 'I'm okay'. Lightning had allowed herself to believe them. Now she knew about the alternative, that they were platitudes and nothing more as she had allowed the void between them to expand, unknowing of how to fix it.

_Try._

She still couldn't read her sister's expression. Her face was the same, more matured. Older, wiser, forcefully having to look out for herself. Shorts and t-shirt… maybe it was evening after all. Same shade of lipstick. New earrings.

"Cats?"

"Yeah," Serah said, without needing to ask what she was describing. Her cheeks tinged as she smiled an unfamiliar smile to Lightning, fingers tinkling the curled end of the cat tails against her skin. "They're from a friend…"

"They suit you," Lightning offered. Did she hear herself right now, talking about earrings with an estranged sister she still needed to apologise to, still needed to know if she was okay? She looked… she really, really couldn't tell. That scared her more than she wanted to admit. "You're… how's Eden Prime?"

"It's good," Serah replied, guard still up. At least it was an improvement to 'fine', but not by much. "School starts up again soon. I'd like to think the kids are looking forward to it, but they enjoy the harvest, too. Everyone gets involved out here. It's more real, y'know?"

Lightning didn't know, but she nodded anyway.

She tried to imagine herself running into neighbours and workmates and casual acquaintances whilst they harvested the basics. She couldn't see it. She could imagine Serah, though. Smiling, laughing, helpful, making friends… like she belonged there.

Now she did feel miserable.

"Amodar was on the vids, the other day," Serah continued, when it became apparent Lightning wasn't going to answer. "Something about a new command or a ship?"

"Ship," Lightning corrected. It was easier to talk about work. Whatever wasn't classified often made its way to Serah. "The Bodhum. First tour within a few weeks… I'll be his commanding officer."

"That's great, sis."

"Yeah," Lightning said. Her response was as automatic as Serah's. "Thanks. They haven't finished fitting her yet, but she's quite a sight. We'll be hosting some council people, I think. Spectres."

She waited. She could see Serah visibly connect the dots – first her eyebrows raised, then she squinted, then she caught a smile as it formed, quashing it back to a thoughtful hum. Even with all their time apart, she could still read her like a book… and she'd always been the better of the two at it.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying? Sis, that's _huge-_ "

"It's only a consideration," Lightning halted her. "Rumours, mostly… Amodar keeps pushing me to practice for performance tests." She rolled her eyes. Like she needed to be told – practice was all she did, always had done, regardless of the consequences.

Belatedly, she caught the eyeroll – it was so easy to slip back into habits with Serah – but she didn't seem angry, or feigning. In fact, Serah had laughed, and her voice was kind and encouraging, even if her smile was strained. She still remembered the final reprimand, words which were the prequel to her departure.

Lightning could still taste them. 

_Then get out and don't come running back here when it all goes wrong._

It was a miracle Serah had even called her.

"You'll do well, I know you will. You'll make a great Spectre."

But not a great _sister_.

"I'd better give it one hundred and ten percent, then."

"You better, or else I'll have to call them and tell them what they're missing."

Lightning couldn't help herself, nor the smallest of smiles. She believed it. Serah absolutely would, finding every loophole in every regulation in order to make it legit. Or she'd just skip the Alliance and get straight to the Council and she certainly had the nerve, the tenacity, the...

The will to really make it.

And though it wasn't about her, wasn't an admittance of any kind, the fact Serah had said missing… she wanted to say it back, to say she missed her. But she couldn't. She'd revoked that right a long time ago.

But she could say it, if she apologised. If she at least tried to make things right. Serah had given her a chance, and she couldn't waste it.

"Serah, I…" she started before she'd formulated a plan, and trailed off, helplessly.

Serah shook her head, denying it. "It's okay."

It was _not_ okay, Lightning thought fiercely. Why couldn't she swallow her pride and stop being ashamed long enough to apologise to the one person that mattered?

But Serah was already speaking again, and the moment was slipping away. "I actually wanted to tell you something, other than to wish you a happy birthday," Serah started. She didn't leave any space for Lightning to interject, appealing to her want to know what her sister was getting herself involved in this time.

"I'm still going to be teaching, and I've given it a lot of thought. It's all been approved and I'll be perfectly safe, but I wanted you to know…"

A sinking feeling opened up in the pit of Lightning's stomach as Serah finished. "I'm going to serve a year on an Alliance cruiser."

(It was not the worst piece of news Lightning had received on her birthday, but it came pretty close.)

**Author's Note:**

> Finally getting a feel for the universe after coming up with this AU in, idk, November.
> 
> This, obviously, takes place prior to the opening of Mass Effect's storyline, but it's an important thing to drop for the timeline - and I might do some more of these first meetings/important relationship beats whilst I'm still exploring how this universe works (before I... end up tackling the whole thing. Yes. I'm going there.). We'll see.


End file.
